BECOMING MORE

This year is monumental. 

I am so happy for what is to come. 

I am happy with where I am in my life 

and the decisions I have made thus far. 

I love life. 

God has been good to me. 

Recently I read an article posted by a friend that emphasized the meaning and connotation of the word "just." I have thought a lot about that article. It is such an amazing read! 

Click here to read: 

http://aspiringmormonwomen.org/2015/03/19/why-lds-women-need-to-stop-saying-bad-words/

 I think, as single adults, trying to figure things out, jobs we want to pursue or the fact that we endure college, we get caught up in this false realization that we are "just" doing things to get by. For many years, I felt insignificant and forgotten.
I am "just" living in Utah,  or I am "just" going to school.
Comparison got a hold of me. 

If I wasn't hitting all of these unspoken "timelines" does that mean I am not doing what I am supposed to? I started slipping, in many ways. I didn't want to run into people I knew, fearing they would ask if I was dating anyone or having children. I wasn't and I didn't want to admit that.Was God punishing me? Does He even care? I made the conclusion, I am "just" not good enough. 

Like the article pointed out, and I agree, the word "just" is damaging. 

Think about it, when we say, "Yeah, I am just going to college," or "I am just working," we imply that what we are doing is simply NOT good enough. 

Whether we are going to college, interviewing for jobs, traveling or 

raising children and a family, we ARE going somewhere. 

We are not "just" doing those things. 

We have purpose and meaning, regardless of how long it takes us to get there. 

These "timelines" can be so detrimental. I had to reframe my way of thinking.

My timeline is NOT going to be like anyone else's.

This life is a continual process,

each day trying to better ourselves and helping others too.

There is so much beauty in this world 

as a reminder that

God loves us and wants us to be happy.

I recently had a #Spiritual Awakening, so to speak. 

I took a hard look at my life and decided I wanted more. 

I wanted TO BE more. 

I have always been ambitious and had a desire to learn, travel and become successful. 

Likewise, I have always done WHAT I WANTED to do. 

Yeah, I am selfish. I know this.

However, after going to the Ogden Temple open house last year in August, 

something within my soul yearned for something more. 

I started making small, incremental changes, 

trying to do what GOD WANTED ME TO DO. 

I desired to feel closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

However, like everyone else, my life has holes too. 

I mentioned that I am happy with the decisions I have made thus far, and I mean it.

I have made some awful decisions. 

Some that have made me feel ashamed and embarrassed.

Some that have made me feel inadequate and worthless. 

Some that have haunted me all these years. I had to let them go.

I had to move forward.

BUT, those negative choices have proven to be positive and beneficial to me.

I have chosen to learn from my negative choices and the consequences that followed.

Letting them be a reminder of WHO I DON'T WANT TO BE. 

I want to BE MORE. 

I know we all have within us, the potential to BECOME MORE.

Change is hard. I totally get that. 

I am so used to doing what I want.

To trust and have the faith that things will work out

HAS BEEN SOMETHING I STRUGGLE WITH.

However, I know this. 

God loves me. 

He cares about me and the desires of my heart.

He knows what I can become.

I have to struggle, grow, learn, trust and DO.

I have to be PATIENT.

What a humbling realization.

My pride has been such a disease, clouding my view, my heart and my faith

that for many, many years I questioned my purpose and meaning. 

Change is the essence of conversion.

By changing my actions, how I see myself, how I see others and 

how I feel about where I'm at in life has been a process for sure,

but now I know that I am much more than "just." 

I am a daughter of God. 

I am able to continue my education.

I am blessed with continuous health and a sound mind.

I have a desire to go places and see things.

God has given me talents to help people, to see people.

I am happy.

 Even the darkest soul can come to know the peace given from God. 

I have a testimony of timing.

God knows me. 

And He knows what I can become. 

Where are you going? 

What are your desires and dreams?

Next time someone asks what you are doing, I encourage you to
erase "just" from your vocabulary.

"Just" doesn't define you. 

You are more than that.