Conclusions

I have come to the conclusion that I have been inconsistent. Although my days are filled with work and many, many chapters of reading and writing papers (thank you, Master's program!), my focus has narrowed. I can't tell you how many times I have enlisted a new hobby, and then, through the cracks, wrinkles and distractions, I find myself back at square one (and I didn't even master my hobby! Darn). I have contemplated maybe I have A.D.D., but that was quickly ruled out. The only thing I can think of, is that I am lazy and selfish. It's true. I have no shame in admitting this. Do I feel bad? Yes, frankly. It makes me quite disheartened to think that I can't stick to anything--- (well, that's not entirely true, I have stuck with my job and I have stuck with my school program). I need to get out more. That's all there is to it.

With that said, I must also conclude that I have a mild case of anxiety. When I say mild, I might add: it's affected my sleep, my focus and my fears have surfaced. This brings me no delight whatsoever. Don't worry, I have addressed it and am working through it. Does the mind deteriorate as the body gets older? Some say yes, some say no. I say it depends. I believe that mind over matter wins, every time. It's scary to face fears. It's uncomfortable. BUT.. it is a good thing, if you tell your mind that it's a good thing and there is always room to learn, even if it makes you feel vulnerable and weak. The mind is powerful and tries to get us out of everything we have ever feared... so what do we learn from this? NOTHING. If we truly want to succeed, it's important to face those fears with a sense of victory and defiance (shaky knees are okay too!).

But we all need a break, right? We can't do everything, nor will we be great at everything we do. The important thing is to try and have fun in the meantime. Life has been good to me, so I should be good to life. There are many things to be grateful for. Soooooooooo... let me show you how I have had fun in the meantime:

giggle with friends

roam flower fields to gain clarity

Visit my brother's grave and remember him in my life

bask in the simple joy of mustaches and mail (Thanks Erin)

Escape to a shopper's fest @ Gardner's Village

comically strut these ridiculous shoes!

indulge in Kouing Aman from Les Madeleine's (pastry fresh from France)

* I must warn, one bite and you're finished..it's that great!*

Take pictures with strangers (because I miss that!)

relax in a tub full of natural spring water

Glory in all its' whiteness

A little meditation always hits the spot

Seriously, why haven't I been here sooner!?!

Sit in solitude and soak in the view

Attempt to bring back the 80's

Spend time with my best friend

Relish in being an Auntie, and hanging out with the chillin's

(squish, squish)

There is never a bad time for FIREWORKS.

They are like world peace, in my eyes.

And.... last, but not least: remember those friends who have made

such an impact on  me. 

Also, music has been my such a major part of my life, and I associate memories to music.
For those who love music too, and are dying for a new song to listen to, might I suggest:
It's a great song for when you have a lot on the mind.

Old Skin by Olafur Arnalds& Arnor Dan.
Click on the link below


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zgyJCYNzbZk